As a little girl I often felt like I didn’t belong anywhere. Moving from city to city quite often while living with my mother, I was always the new kid. Learning a new city, school, teachers, peers, and how to adjust mentally was not easy. I hated school and my grades showed as a result. Each day showing up was so much of a chore for me because I felt like I was so checked out. I could care less about science class and dissecting animals, adding and subtracting numbers to find the answer, or learning about my countries history. I made friends quick, but never knew how to develop great relationships, but honestly found it useless; at the end of the year I would be moving anyway. Never allowing others to get too close to me and giving them a glimpse of my life, others usually found me as weird, shy, or quiet. Boys intrigued me at a very young age and I can remember wanting to have a boyfriend when I should still be focusing on friends. My parents divorced when I was a very young age, and because of this I only saw my father in the summers. No father figure in the house during my childhood, my mother working full time, and me responsible most times for my younger sister, left me feeling like an adult way before my time. Its like forcing a 10 year old to drive and telling them 'its okay, you can see over the steering wheel so I think you're ready.” It just doesn’t happen. We also spent a lot of time with babysitters, neighbors, and friends from the church. Among all of these people that we were around, I still never felt a connection to anyone. Its almost as if the more people I came into contact with the less I wanted to be around them. Always getting questioned by others who didn’t really know me or understand our life, just wanting answers for their own sake. That to me was being nosy, not caring. Trust is a huge issue I've had to work on my whole life. One thing that saved me, literally, was Sunday mornings. They were spent going to Sunday school and church service. I despised going to that place where old ladies wore huge hats and smelled like wild flowers. As a child I had way better things to do than spend my time at a place like that such as, I don’t know, watching cartoons and staying in my pajamas all day. Listening to a man in a pinstripe suit stand on stage and ask for an “Amen” every now and then put me to sleep. I gradually realized that there may be something to this morning Sunday stuff and actually started listening. I started asking questions and wanting to know a little bit more about this man they call God and having a personal relationship. At 19, I asked Jesus into my heart and found a small glimmer of hope for my future. I was not even close to perfect, I backslid several times and disobeyed God throughout my life but tried my best. I still sin sometimes and pray everyday for His guidance, but we are all human and he knows this. We are the flesh and make mistakes but we should strive daily to be more like Jesus. He never left my side and continues to walk with daily. Reading my Bible, praying, trusting in Jesus, and helping others know him brings me great. Today, my relationship with Him is so amazing and through the storm I have grown to love him more, trust him, and have a peace that only he can provide. I want to encourage you that you can too.
O Lord my God I cried out to you, and you healed me.