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Trust Him In the Wilderness

Believe Faith Feeling lost Hope Struggling Trust Tyra Weak

wilderness The Wilderness can be a scary place to be especially if you are there alone, or worse, at night. If you've ever been camping far off from the main road, or on a long nature hike, this may be the closest you have come to actually being in the wilderness. The wilderness can be considered a place where there are very few others around and may give you a sense of solitude. However here, I am referring to the wilderness as feelings of loneliness, abandonment, feeling trapped, hopeless, depressed, lost, and what one would consider to be a very dark, difficult time in your life. All of these are real emotions and if you're not sure what you are feeling or why, its going to be very difficult to move forward from this position. When I was about 12 years old, my mother, my sister, and I moved to a city in California. I went to a new school where I didn't know anyone. Making friends was not my strong point because as a new person, I was always the odd one. People didn't understand me, couldn't figure out my nationality, so as a result found it easier to call me names and point fingers. I remember going home after school telling my mother, to which her reply was, "well don't be getting into any fights. I have to work and don't have time to be coming up there to the school to get you."  Okay, let me see. That really wasn't the answer I was looking for, but none-the-less, I knew she meant it. So, I didn't get into a fight. I defended myself. (With my tough attitude, I wasn't going to allow someone to pick on me). This would be 1 of many fights and trips my mother made to the school. You could say I was in the wilderness many times throughout my childhood. My way of dealing with things was to act out, talk back, run away from home, and eventually become sexually promiscuous. All of which I knew were wrong and lead me to an even darker place, but I tested the fates. The worst thing you can do when you're hurting is to keep it to yourself. Or worse, hurt others. For me, they were both solutions for my pain. I would think, if people are hurting me then I'll hurt them back and that will make me feel much better. WRONG.......My real pain came from wanting a safe place of belonging and security where people understood me as a person. Many years later, I realized that God is the only one who can take that kind of pain away. God was always with me, but I didn't know him as my personal Lord and savior so I did things my way. Trust Him in the wilderness.

My divorce was another example of feeling like I was in the wilderness.  Raising my children, working 2 jobs, and struggling to make ends meet was a difficult time for me. I had to pick up extra nursing shifts on the weekend, therefore we stopped going to church. By this time, I knew that God was the huge missing puzzle piece in my life and felt he was watching over me, but my short coming is that I had fallen away from him. My focus was on my children and making sure I could afford to keep the lights on and food on the table. I put God last.

Instead, all my focus should have been on the One who holds my future and consistently trusting in Him to provide for me and my children.

I felt like a horrible mother because my kids would go to school all day, then get picked up by the daycare center, and would stay there until I finally picked them up late in the evenings. Homework, dinner, bath, and bedtime. Every. Single. Day. With no family here, I had to depend on a few great friends that I knew would come through for us. I felt like this cycle would never end. Thank God it did, and he was always with me through it all.  Again, I had to give up control and learn to trust that Jesus had a plan for my life; especially in the wilderness.

God is so good and provides on his terms, in his time, and is NEVER late. This is what I do know! What I also know is that he provided everything we needed, he heard every prayer, saw all of my tears, and knew all my struggles. Nothing is ever wasted with God. Thy Will Be Done Lord.

Today, if you are feeling like you are in the wilderness and feel trapped like no one understands or cares; I want you to know, I Get It. I was there too. You might be going through financial issues, a troubled child, a career change, losing your house, a health issue, trying to get over an addiction of some sort. But, you are not alone. God is taking you through this because he needs you to trust him and let go of all control. He holds the future and would never leave you nor forsake you. He is always with you. Believe that deep in your heart because its true. My prayer is that you will Trust Him in the wilderness.

Psalm 139 is a great reminder. Here are a few verses but I encourage you to read the whole chapter.

Where can I go from Your spirit?

Or where can I flee from Your presence?

If I ascend into heaven, You are there;

If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.

If I take the wings of the morning,

And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,

Even there Your hand shall lead me,

And Your right hand shall hold me.

Psalm 139:7-10

Blessings,

Tyra



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